I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
