I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
