just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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