The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
there was a trapeze. enough said
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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