There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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