He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
ttyl tear gas
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize