I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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