I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
