We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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