He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize