I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
