I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
