Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
