Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
