I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
