just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
