What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
