ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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