I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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