I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
