and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
