I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Randomize
