We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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