school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My balls are so social today.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
