hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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