my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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