what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
