I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
