direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
there is glitter all over my balls
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
