If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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