This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize