I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
