there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
