i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
