I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize