well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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