you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
