Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
