A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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