This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
