Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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