Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So here I am, sexting at work.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
