we have officially lost it.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
