I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
