Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
