It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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