Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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