I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
