Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
