I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
