got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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