I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
