youre lurking in front of me
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
