Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
