dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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