they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
