My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
