At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
