I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
