Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
