Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
