i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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