8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
