We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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