hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
